Holiday Humor

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Susan Sherbert in santa hatI think we all need a little holiday humor this year so I unearthed an old blog from 2001. I can’t believe I’ve been writing for that long, but then again, I can’t believe a lot of things these day. Anyway, here is a blast from my simply amusing past. 

Genuinely, Susan Sherbert


December is here and that means family, friends, food and gifts.

It also means house guests, cooking, cleaning and shopping. Then throw in a bit of charity and add the pressure of another New Year and no wonder December is such a hectic month. But we all manage to get through it somehow.

On with the holiday humor and on with the gift giving…

I know what’s on the top of everyone’s list these day, but I refuse to give people money for Christmas. I am still a traditionalist, therefore I believe it is the thought that counts and how much thought goes into putting money in an envelope. So what if they can buy what they want with the money. Isn’t the spirit of the holiday season all about giving gifts – not receiving them. No one actually likes fruit cake but it doesn’t stop people from giving them does it?

We need to appreciate the people who think enough about us to take the time to find us a present (or at least buy you a giftcard). They then have to take time out of their busy lives to wrap our gifts or at least shove them in a colorful sack stuffed with tissue paper. People do this because they care about us and that should count for something. So the next time you receive an underwater village filled with plastic bits of snow or even worse, a fruit cake, stop and appreciate their effort. No matter what they might have been thinking when they picked out your gift –it’s the thought that counts.

Hi Ho Hi Ho It’s off to the toy store we go

 

Many years back I decided that instead of giving corporate gifts I would use the money to buy toys for tots instead. I knew one client liked baseball so I would donate a baseball glove. Another likes to cook so maybe a play kitchen, you know that sort of thing. Make it personal and thoughtful but still keep with the giving season because I mean really, do the people in a office honestly need a five pound box of Chocolates?

So it’s off to the toy store I go. But wait what do kids want these days? I am sure there are many things they would like, but what do I want to give them? As a kid I remember playing with marbles – all the pretty colors rolling around the floor. But I suppose now a days pieces of colored glass would seem down right boring not to mention leaving them on the floor brings to mind the word law suit.

How about the game Operation? Remember that one? It was where you tried to pull out the plastic body parts without hitting the sides causing a buzzing sound. No, that won’t work. With all the blood and guts on TV and the popularity of medical shows, somehow operating with tweezers on a little cardboard cut-out seems like a rather lame idea to me.

How about roller skates? Doesn’t every kid want skates? I suppose so, but then we would also need to buy a helmet, knee pads, wrist guards, and then hope the street they live on doesn’t have any cars on it. What about Barbie! All little girls like Barbie dolls. Well, maybe we better not. Her tiny little waist and her impossible to achieve figure has become such an issue with the grown ups of the world. Back when I was a kid, girls were girls. They didn’t have weight problems or insecurities about their looks. In fact, most little girls weren’t even allowed to wear make up. Barbie was simply a doll that lived in a large house and happened to have a cool boyfriend named Ken. So now we are all suffering because Barbie is rich and beautiful.

Monopoly might be a good choice. Every kid should play the game once and then stash it in the back of their closet so they can look at it once or twice in their teenage years. We’ll take one. What’s next? Do they still sell video games anymore? Yeah, Pong and Pac Man were pretty fun back in the day, but times have changed. Every game sold now is filled with fighting, blood, guns, more blood, and killing. Lots of killing. Maybe we’d be better off with a G.I. Joe.

Oh to heck with it! Between shopping for corporate gifts, organizing company parties, and Christmas blogs, I just don’t have time for this. I’ll order a few fruit cakes and give my clients a calendar like we did in the good old days. And I might as well wish everyone a politically correct Happy Holidays, and a prosperous New Year (Everyone likes the prosperous part so I’m safe there)! And times have changes so if you did happen to give me money as a gift this year, I would simply have to accept it.

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