Give up on your diet yet?


I told you so – I told you so!

Getting in shapeIf you have fallen off your diet plans for the New Year don’t worry, you can always get back on track. However in my last humor post I did warn you that starting a diet in January was going against Mother Nature, and we all know that Mother Nature usually wins.

Stop all this diet nonsense and forget about your body until spring. While it’s cold outside let me help you get your brain in shape instead. Start small and come up with promises that you can keep. And also, wouldn’t it be nice if our resolutions benefitted someone else for a change?

Oh I know. Got it – the perfect resolution that will make everyone happy. Make a simple promise to put the toilet seat down? It is easier than trying to lose weight and it can be accomplished in only seconds a day. And while we’re at it – how difficult is it to replace a roll of toilet paper?

I’m on a roll so here are a few more.

Why can’t we all make a promise to put the grocery shopping carts back where they belong! We say we want to lose weight but we are too lazy to take an extra ten steps to put the cart into the receptacle that is taking up parking spaces we could otherwise be parking in. Or better yet, why not walk an additional fifteen steps and put the cart back by the front door.

Then there are the trash cans? Why can’t people put trash in a trash can? If for whatever reason you actually miss putting the trash in the container, how hard is it to bend down and pick it up again? And if you think it doesn’t apply to you, think again! How many times have you seen trash on the ground, with a trash can in sight and still not used the energy to bend down and pick up the trash. I could go on, but just one more. How much extra effort does it take to put an empty glass in the dishwasher?

All of these things are easier than trying to lose weight, yet everyone picks weight loss as their New Year’s resolution? I realize, you eat too much in December, promise to work it off in January, and then buy chocolates for Valentine’s Day. It’s just the way we humans are trained I guess. But they do call it a resolution for a reason. You are supposed to make, and keep the commitment all year-long. No one likes breaking a promise, not even to yourself. That only causes unnecessary guilt which can lead to weight gain!

So stop all the nonsense! Lose weight when you are ready, do little things because they are the right thing to do, and most of all don’t make promises you can’t keep. Until next time – see you at the gym.

CORNY JOKE: Why do some people like to wear magnets when they workout?

CORNY ANSWER: Because it makes them feel more attractive.

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